My Cousin

My cousin Karl's sixteen-month battle with Cancer came to an end on Monday. Some would say that Cancer won but I think it many ways, Karl won. He knew it was terminal from the beginning, that treatment could buy time, but not a cure. He chose to fight. He fought his battle with grace, determination and humor. For example. not long after being told that he was terminally ill, he asked me to set him up on a date with one of my friends. I looked at him dubiously, and he smiled and said, "Hey, just tell them I'm not looking for a long-term relationship." Last Halloween, he dressed up as the grim reaper. Dressed in his costume, he went up to our local diner, and looked in the windows at all the diners. He pointed a finger at one, then another, before entering the restaurant. He then announced, "Don't worry, I'm only here for the carrot cake."

Karl was always fiercely independent. That didn't change. Despite his illness, he didn't want to be dependent or a burden on anyone. He quickly bought a car so he could drive himself to his own chemo treatments and doctor appointments. There may have been a few times we wondered if he should still be driving but he fought for that right and I admire him for that. Karl died too young. I think he still had a lot of living to do.

Karl's mother, my Aunt Sue, was an amazing person. She also died much too young, also from cancer. The past sixteen months, I learned how much like his mom Karl was. My Aunt died a few months before my high school graduation. Despite the celebration around this event, I felt her absense so strongly. Karl came, and he wrote me the most beautiful letter that day, reminding me of my aunt's love for me. This is something I will never forget and I don't think I ever told him thank you for that.

I loved seeing Karl joke with my daughters and I am so glad they got to know him. Karl would ask Kaelyn who her favorite cousin was, and she would answer him "you are". I think I would have the same answer.

Rest in peace Karl, rest in peace.